Classes started last Monday, and I am back to work full time. I must admit that making the adjustment to being a full time working mother is harder than I thought it would be. I feel like I am not doing either of my jobs to the best of my ability... that I am not spending enough time with my students nor with my daughter. Also, I haven't yet got the routine worked out and well... things will get better I hope.
Last Tuesday, Eva and I had lunch with my friend who speaks Chinese. Eva was fascinated with her and watched her very closely. At first, she didn't seem to respond to the Chinese, but after about half an hour she started to respond clearly to what was spoken to her. It seems she hasn't forgotten her Chinese yet, which I was happy to realize.
This week, on the other hand, has had some amazing breakthroughs. For the first time, Eva has started walking on her own outside our home. On Friday, she actually put her arms out to Mrs. J when I dropped her off at daycare and didn't even cry when I left. When she took her bath this weekend, she tried to get into her little duck tub herself, discovered the delights of splashing water, laughed so hard she shook her entire little body and then didn't want to get out of the tub when the bath was over. She also has experienced a noticable change in how she views the house... it is like she has taken ownership of our home. She's walking over 90% of the time now, and has started exploring everything and everywhere. I have learned that my baby-proofing is incomplete and also that Eva does respond to boundaries if I am consistent with enforcing them. She also seeems to have gotten even cuter, if that were possible. Granny thinks its because her hair has gotten longer. I'll have to post some pictures this week so you can see for yourself.
Meanwhile, I am here at work on Labor Day trying to get ahead for the week so that I don't have to spend any extra time at work during the week and can devote it to Eva. David is watching her today... he still doesn't have confidence in himself fully when it comes to watching her on his own. I understand why... it has a lot to do with non-stop crying and Eva yelling "ma ma" incessantly. I keep thinking the only way for it to get better is for David to watch her more, but it is emotionally exhausting for all of us. Eva has definitely decided to glue herself to me. I understand that when she forms a full and healthy attachment to me this will get better... in the meantime, it is tiring.
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Ah, the art of balance for the full time working mom. It is true, you will do neither as well as you'd like. But you will do both as well as you need, and I think you'll be surprised how much being a mom helps you in the working world. And in ways you won't expect, vice versa. Choose your battles wisely, let go of stuff that doesn't really matter and save your energy for the important stuff.
And believe me and every other working mom out there that it *does* get easier. And believe it or not, even more fun.
-Becca
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