Updates

I'm feeling better and in the mood to post again. I actually had salmanella poisoning... I ate at a restaurant in town and had a salad that had crumbled up hard boiled egg on it. It must have been the culprit. What a painful experience, I won't be eating at that establishment again. Eva has been slowly ungluing herself from me. Spending the night in the hospital--my first night ever away from her--caused her to regress a little in her attaching. She won't let me out of her sight. Eva did really good though, she spent the day with me sitting in the Doctor's office without fussing or getting into trouble, and I was in so much pain and the pain meds caused me to drift in and out of sleep that I wasn't really that good at watching her. My mom was with me and Eva just sat and watched me. It upset her a lot and she was very worried that I needed help. Then, when David carried her out of the hospital, leaving me behind, she screamed the entire way and going home. And since then, she's been glued to me. I had a post-visit with the surgeon on Thursday, and as soon as Eva and I walked into the clinic, Eva started insisting very loudly "No. Wrong way mommy. Go back, Go back." She wasn't about to go through that again. Last night, as she was falling asleep, she was almost asleep when I hear a voice saying, "Mommy always come back." I assured her that I do and then she sighed and fell asleep. I am hoping she has worked out things in her brain and won't need to be attached to my hip so much now. It hasn't been this bad since last fall.

The weekend before I went to the hospital, Eva and I had an interesting conversation. Eva likes to watch the videos of when we went to China to get her, and lately she has been especially keen to watch the one of the first time we saw her and held her. She likes to tell you "Mommy and Baba happy." Well we were watching it and she noticed Eva was not happy. So we talked about it and the fact that Eva was sad because she didn't know mommy and baba yet. The next two days and night she cried a lot, and for unrelated things. Riding in the car seat, we look back to see tears silently coming down her face. At night she kept waking up half way and crying "my mommy" just to be calmed down when I stroked her back. So, on Sunday before my sojourn to the hospital, Eva and I were sitting on the bed and Eva said "China movies" I asked her if she wanted to watch the china movies again. She said "E'ah sad." I replied, "Yes, Eva was sad when she first came to live with Mommy and Baba because she had to leave her friends, but Mommy and Baba were very happy because we love Eva." After I said that, she insisted, "No. E'ah not sad. E'ah happy now." She must have worked something through, another piece of the loss puzzle, because she figured out in her own little head that she's not sad anymore. I was very proud of her. Unfortunately, a couple days latter, I ended up in the hospital and she was sad again.

Family are coming to visit us...tomorrow they should be here. Both my sisters and my niece and nephews are spending the 4th of July at our place this year. I'm very excited about it and Eva has been learning her cousin's names. She knows Aunt Kathy really well because she's in the pictures from China that Eva has memorized. It'll be fun...

1 Year

Last Tuesday (the 12th) was the one year anniversary of our adoption day with Eva. Instead of the celebration I had planned, I spent the day and night in the hospital. Monday night my abdomen started huring, so I went to bed. I woke up very early tuesday morning with the pain overwhelming. It was so severe that it induced vomiting. My mom insisted that we go to the Doctor. Eva spent the day with me in the Doctor's office... she was very subdued and quiet. Mostly I slept off and on from the demerol, but Eva wouldn't leave my presence. She insisted that she needed to be with me to "helping mommy." In any case, I was completely dehydrated because of throwing up bile all day, and was in a lot of pain so they admitted me into the hospital. It was not the celebration I intended. The Doctors do not know what caused the pain. They sent me home on Wednesday, my stomach still hurts, but it has definitely gotten much better. Eva has been very quiet since I've gotten home, unfortunately she hasn't got much attention this week and she's been very worried about me. The first night I was home she slept glued to me. The next two days she pretty much ignored me... I think she weas mad at me. Last night, though, she challenged me something awful. I think she was testing to see if I'm still mommy. She seems satisfied, becasue she's been smiling more and treating me as normal since then. But, in the meantime, I've neglecting things like posting.

Eva Talk

Eva thinks her "chicken pops" are mosquito bites. "E'ah lots and lots of quito bites mommy." She actually isn't doing to bad with them though, she will wiggle around a little to rub the bites on her back, but she doesn't have them anywhere near as bad as if she had not had her vaccination.

So, Eva has been delighting us with the unexpected things she says. They aren't particularly funny outside of the setting, but just further validation that we can not underestimate her little mind. For example, David has now misplaced his keys to his Explorer and is using the spare set. Eva, after hearing us speak about that, and remembering the Volvo keys that she found, announced very seriously that "Baba looses lots of keys." Another point of fascination for her is the female anatomy. My 2-year-old is fascinated with boobs. She's going to be so embarrassed when she's 13 and reads this. But, for now, it is a topic that occupies a lot of her thoughts. She is constantly trying to discuss boobies. When our social worker was here on Monday, Eva was sitting with Baba while I was talking with her. She lifted Baba's shirt out and asked, "Baba have boobies too?" David was mortified and hoped that no one heard. Come to think of it, he might be embarrassed by this dialogue also. Oh well. So, Eva keeps asking us where her boobies are and we tell her that she will have them when she's older. Now, on a regurlar basis and at unexpected times, out of the blue, she will come up to one of us and say, "E'ah have boobies when older." Granny says that we've heard it so many times that when she's a teenager we are all going to sit around and tell Eva that she has boobies now and discuss them with the same level of thoroughness that she wants to discuss it now. The thought amuses me, but I won't actually purposely mortify my daughter. Granny says that we should just treat it matter-of-fact and Eva will outgrow the fascination, that it's a normal part of growing awareness of her world. In the meantime, David is trying very hard to explain to a 25 month old child that men don't have boobies. Another thing Eva has heard us discuss to death, it seems, is the topic of paying bills. The other night, she found a bill on the coffee table and after Baba opened it up, she ran into the office, got her checkbook (it's an account register in a check book holder) and a pen and came out and started scribbling on the "check." David asked her what she was doing and she informed him, "Paying bills Baba." The same night, she found a copy of the latest Oriental Trading catalog that we have and after looking thoroughly at each page, brought it to David and pointed at a picture of some squirting fish and told Baba, "Mommy order this please." I remember something my father told me when I was younger about adults making the mistake of underestimating children. He said that children have the same mind and intelligence as an adult, just not the experience and that adults often underestimate what they are capable of. I have to remind myself of that. When Eva says these things that I did not expect, I understand how easy it is to underestimate a two-year-old's intelligence and understanding, and I tell myself that I must expect anything.

photos

Eva had her first formal pictures taken today. She did really well actually... better than I expected. She didn't smile a lot, but then she doesn't do that for strangers. She did allow them to take quite a few pictures, though. But, you know we can't miss out on any of the childhood experiences... the day she is scheduled to meet for photos is the day that she breaks out with chicken pox. Yes, despite getting the vaccination, Eva has the chicken pox. She doesn't have a really bad outbreak, but still there's four bright red spots on her cheek. I had the new experience of shopping for cover-up/concealer for a non-caucasian skin tone. There's not a lot of medium darkness shades to choose from. In any case, we may have some of the pictures re-touched before prints made. The proofs will be on-line starting tomorrow until next friday. You can see them at:
www.thoelephoto.com
click on the "Photo Gallery" link, then my name "Kristel K"
The password is "Wuyi"
I appreciate any opinions. Maybe I'll actually get some comments. Woo hoo.

Eva Hurlburt, big girl

Eva helped us put up her swing set on Saturday. By the way, that's a horrible job with even worse instructions. But, Eva loved every minute of it. She kept taking the tools and pretending to fix the pieces we already assembled, and her hotrod and Granny's wheel chair. Actually, though she was real help a few times. She fetched the screwdriver and the hammer really well. I think those are the only tools she knows by sight. At least Eva loves the thing and has already put in at least 6 hours of play on it.

I forgot to mention in my last post... Eva has experienced another first. She has learned to chew on a grass stock. Not that it's hard around our place... our lawn mower has been in the shop all spring. We're waiting for a part to arrive so that they can fix it fully and we can use it again. Hopefully by the end of next week. But, what that means is that our grass has had about a month of growing time without being mowed once. The chickens are doing a good job keeping the grass around their house mowed down, but the rest of the lawn... well let's just say we are re-seeding the lawn this year. Although, if you ask our black cat, Enoch, he will tell you that we allowed the grass to grow expressly for his entertainment and hunting delight. David watched him sneak up on the dog this afternoon. He's the cat who practices his stealth on the hens, and then pretends like he really wasn't as soon as a rooster looks his way. In any case, I showed Eva how to pull out a seed stock and chew the end of it... she's very cute chewing on her blade of grass.

That reminds me, Goldie, the sad defeated rooster has returned to the chicken house. He still appears to be on the outs, but at least he's sleeping inside again... I guess that means he's, literally, no longer in the dog house.

So, two years ago, David lost his remote access key to my Volvo. It costs many $100's of dollars to replace them, so we've been doing without. Last week, after two, long years...Eva found it. It was in a crevice of his SUV behind and to the side of the driver's seat... it must have fallen down there from his pocket while he was driving. I've said it before and I will say it again... Eva finds an astounding number of things.

Our social worker comes tomorrow for our 12 month follow-up with Eva. In honor of that, I wanted to actually list Eva's development at this time--I want to remember it for when she's older. I don't know where she's suppose to be, but I think she does really good. I am un-abashedly biased, though. Eva can count to 10 without prompting and without saying them first to her, but she gets her numbers mixed up about 40% of the time. Also, she only really understands the concept of the numbers 1, 2 and 3. But she gets those really well, and is constantly telling us when she has 2 of something or when there are 3 somethings in a spot. She's really into colors right now and Eva asks me the color of everything. The only two colors she gets right on her own about 90% of the time are pink and red. The other colors she only knows correctly about 30% of the time, but every day I see improvement on that. I expect by the end of summer she'll have them all down, simply because she is so determined to learn them. She's very good at matching shapes, she can do that 100% of the time, but only will tell you the identity of hearts, stars and circles. In fact, not only does she know what a circle is, but she can draw them also. She likes to draw them and then make us fill in the happy face. She remembers everything she hears and sees... she's the most observant person I've ever known. I even include my sisters in that. She actually holds her forks and spoons the correct way without ever being told... she just saw it and copied it. That's what she does with everything. My mom says that she's noticing more and more traits of mine that Eva has emulated. In fact she's obssessed with being the same as mommy right now. When she feels like we are the same or in common she will visibly relax. So, I've been stressing to her everything we have in common... like that we both have five fingers on a hand and we both comb our hair and we both brush our teeth and we both like strawberries... There's a lot two people can have in common when you're determined to look for them.

I've been thinking a lot about the day we met Eva. That is her favorite of all the China movies... the one where we met her for the first time. She will watch it over and over again and sit on my, or Baba's lap, and hug and kiss on us while she watches it. It's very important to her to see how happy we were when we met her and how important she is to us. I didn't expect that understanding this young, but nonetheless, there it is. I remember during our wait for referral many people told me that once I had my daughter I wouldn't be able to imagine life without her and that we won't be able to imagine having any other child. That is true, but there's more than that. I discovered this week, that not only can I not imagine any other child for my daughter, but I can't even imagine any other mother for Eva. In fact, when I think of someone else raising my daughter instead of me, it physically hurts. I can't even go there in my mind. She is definitely my little, big girl.

Firsts

This morning Eva got her first hair cut...well first for us anyway. I also got my hair cut today, and for the first hour we were there, she was very upset and clung tight to me. But, after watching very carefully what the Beautician did to mommy's hair, she actually sat still and let her cut her hair also. I was very impressed. It helped her that I kept telling her "Eva and mommy both get their hair cut...Eva and mommy are the same." It is very important to her that we do the same things.

Another first... yesterday was the first attached tick that I had to get off of Eva. Yick!

Hopefully Eva's swingset will come today.