More fun with Eva...

Fun with Eva

Eva update

Eva went to the Doctor again yesterday. She really hates the Doctor and his nurse. Personally, I like them both, but Eva definitely does not agree. She becomes very angry that I allow them to mess with her in any way, and how dare I think she would want someone to poke her with a needle. David came with us this time, but according to Eva, that was not enough comfort to offset the vist. In any case, she now weighs 25lb 7oz, which means that she has gained just under 2lbs since I took her to the Doctor in July. Also, she has grown an inch and is now 32 1/2 inches tall. She is thriving. I did find out, however, that she has alergies. She's had a runny nose for a long while now that makes her cough at night, she's got some exzema and occasionally has diarea after eating food for the first time. Her Doctor wasn't too worried about her as she isn't wheezing and doesn't show signs of asthma... he thinks she will probably grow out of the allergies as she gets older. It may be because she has been exposed to so many different foods so quickly. In any case, we got some creme for her exzema and some medicine to dry her nose out. Also, Eva got the last 3 immunization shots she needs until she's 4 years old...yippee for all of us.

On the home front, Eva is doing very well. We're all enjoying the fact that she says no to every question we ask her. Needless to say, she gets asked lots of really strange questions just so we can watch her shake her head and say "no." She has told us that she never wants a cookie again in her entire life, she doesn't like candy, she never has a dirty diaper and she hasn't liked a single famous person that we've asked her about to date.

Here's Eva...

Growing up

This past Tuesday was the 3 month anniversary of Eva's adoption day. It is incredibly hard to countenance that fact... we've only had her for 3 months! No... it feels like she's always been here and when I think of time before her it is like a different life. In 3 months, my baby who was on the cusp of toddlerhood has transversed that invisible boundary and is definitely a toddler.

Not only can Eva safely, easily and quickly climb the stairs, she now is just as good going down the stairs. She will throw away trash if you tell her, "Eva... go put this in the trash." She has given up bottles and is using sippy cups only. This week, David asked her to find her horsey... she looked all over the room, searched the toy box until she found and brought him her horsey. She sees the chickens in the yard and immediatly goes "bawk, bawk..." Her vocabulary has grown to include so many words I can't even list them all. Anything we say, she repeats it. She talks constantly and doesn't cry anymore when I have to go to work. She understands everything we say (potentially a scarry thought) and mimics whatever she can. She dances and sings and tries to put her shoes on herself. If I open the chicken house to let them out, she insists she accompany me. In addition, she insists I let her help unload the dishwasher and unpack the grocery bags. She carries things all over the house and believes herself to be an interior decorator... apparantly she doesn't like all the locations that David and I have chosen to put things. She finds great amusement in making grand entrances and will walk just out of our view so that she can come into the room and hear accolades in her honor... my daughter is behaving like a diva. I really hate that expression and have tried very hard never to apply it to her. However, it does fit. She will do anything if it earns her applause. And, yet in all this, she still has yet to climb out of that crib. Yes, I have begun giving her lessons on how to do it. I believe it will break free the hold the crib has on her that keeps her imprisoned to have control over when she can get out of it.

Eva is a delight and joy in my life... she teases and laughs and our house finally feels alive. Here's to the next three months...

Impossible to stay frustrated

Before I skip out of here for the weekend, I did want to post something that happened today before I forget about it.

Last night, Eva woke herself up coughing... she's teething and has an associated runny nose. When she lays on her back, it drips on her throat and she coughs. Well, my daughter gets very upset, irrationally upset, when she is woken up out of a sleep, even when she wakes herself up. Needless to say, she got very angry last night when after only an hour of sleep she woke herself up and then couldn't fall back to sleep. She was absolutely unconsolable. She didn't want held, she didn't want put down, she didn't want to be near me, she didn't want to be away from me, she didn't want to be distracted, she didn't want to not be distracted. Yeah, it's frustrating. Finally at 12:30 this morning, I got her calmed down enough to go back to sleep, and I got to bed. So, tired and rather crabby myself this morning, I get up to get ready for work. I've been taking baths with Eva's bath toys for several weeks now, so that Eva will watch and get used to the bath to get over her fear of water. Well, she now thinks she's suppose to come and play over the side of the tub when I take a bath, even though she has now gotten over that fear. This morning, she took it a step further and just suddenly got into the tub with me. It was absolutely darling and adorable and all my frustration was instantly washed away. I keep thinking that in 10 years from now she would be so mortified to actually get into the tub with her mom. Today she was delighted by splashing me and playing with my shampoo and by simply being next to her mama. I simply can't stay frustrated with her...

Party Girl

Transitions...

Classes started last Monday, and I am back to work full time. I must admit that making the adjustment to being a full time working mother is harder than I thought it would be. I feel like I am not doing either of my jobs to the best of my ability... that I am not spending enough time with my students nor with my daughter. Also, I haven't yet got the routine worked out and well... things will get better I hope.

Last Tuesday, Eva and I had lunch with my friend who speaks Chinese. Eva was fascinated with her and watched her very closely. At first, she didn't seem to respond to the Chinese, but after about half an hour she started to respond clearly to what was spoken to her. It seems she hasn't forgotten her Chinese yet, which I was happy to realize.

This week, on the other hand, has had some amazing breakthroughs. For the first time, Eva has started walking on her own outside our home. On Friday, she actually put her arms out to Mrs. J when I dropped her off at daycare and didn't even cry when I left. When she took her bath this weekend, she tried to get into her little duck tub herself, discovered the delights of splashing water, laughed so hard she shook her entire little body and then didn't want to get out of the tub when the bath was over. She also has experienced a noticable change in how she views the house... it is like she has taken ownership of our home. She's walking over 90% of the time now, and has started exploring everything and everywhere. I have learned that my baby-proofing is incomplete and also that Eva does respond to boundaries if I am consistent with enforcing them. She also seeems to have gotten even cuter, if that were possible. Granny thinks its because her hair has gotten longer. I'll have to post some pictures this week so you can see for yourself.

Meanwhile, I am here at work on Labor Day trying to get ahead for the week so that I don't have to spend any extra time at work during the week and can devote it to Eva. David is watching her today... he still doesn't have confidence in himself fully when it comes to watching her on his own. I understand why... it has a lot to do with non-stop crying and Eva yelling "ma ma" incessantly. I keep thinking the only way for it to get better is for David to watch her more, but it is emotionally exhausting for all of us. Eva has definitely decided to glue herself to me. I understand that when she forms a full and healthy attachment to me this will get better... in the meantime, it is tiring.

Eva's new friends

I have to post this... I just talked to Mrs. J to find out how Eva is doing today at daycare. It turns out that she only cried for 5 minutes after I left... she is doing so much better. Today, also, was a big day for the daycare, Mrs. J. has two other girls joining them for the first time today. One of them is 19 months old (Eva is 16 months now). In any case, when Eva had to go down for her nap today, she started crying. Her new friend, when hearing her cry, came over and put her arm around her and they fell asleep together. Very cute. Equally adorable to me is the fact that they are laughing together, getting into trouble together, playing together and Eva has been walking a lot today to keep up with her new friend and Mrs J's son who is 2 years old.

So, who would have thought going back to work could be so fantastic. Really, I'm having a great day... Life is good.

Beautiful Eva

Ginger was very concerned that Eva not notice her. Every time Eva looked around, Ginger hid her face under the edge of the blanket. Apparently she thinks if her head is hid, so is her whole body. In any case, Eva wasn't fooled.

First week of work

Okay, this week I have officially earned the right to reject and complain about anyone who states that I am not Eva's "real" mom. I started back at work this Tuesday with 2 hours of sleep. On Wednesday, I went to work with 4 hours of sleep. Yes, Eva's molars have begun to come in. In addition to the pain that just won't end for her, there's the runny nose, low grade fever, excessive drooling and she even has diaper rash for the first time since I've had her. Other than that, things are going very well for us.

Eva still cries when she is dropped off at daycare, but once she gets used to it, she stops. She's playing, eating and even laughing. Also, she managed to take a nap which I did not expect her to do... but then, that could be because she was operating on 6 hours of sleep herself, instead of her usual 12. I did want to post about a couple of things that helped Eva adjust better, in case it helps anyone out there. On Friday last week, we brought one of Eva's favorite stuffed animals with her from home. I helped her significantly to have something tangible to hold onto that reminded her of us. Then, on Monday I took that picture frame on which sound can be recorded with the pictures of David and I that we had sent to the orphanage. David and I each recorded a new message for Eva in English. Mrs. J says that when she starts crying, "ma ma, ma ma..." she shows her the pictures. Eva will press the button and smile and calm down. Apparantly those two things have helped make a dramatic difference. I must say, it is absolutely the best feeling when I walk up to her at daycare and she sees me. Her entire face lights up, she starts grinning, giggling and dancing. I love that I matter.

On Thursday, Eva's daycare was closed so I took a personal day and had the best time with her. We came into the school so she could meet my co-workers. She enjoyed the potluck, the strange people...well she was willing to put up with them for the food. I am looking forward to this weekend, for no reason other than that I get to spend more time with my daughter. I have to share this, one of the things that for some reason I didn't expect, but find delightful about Eva: She has to know everything that is going on. When we go grocery shopping and bring the bags into the kitchen, she immediately goes over, sticks her nose in each bag and investigates everything we bought. I think it's cute. Now, if I could just get her to put it away for me...

Trials of a toddler

Yes, I can officially claim that Eva is a toddler. She is choosing to walk about half the time and many many steps at a time. Also, today, she learned how to flush the toilet. After learning that particular skill, she practiced it often. Sigh...

So, Eva's trials surround the world known as daycare. It is my opinion that Mrs. J is a wonderful, kind woman with a lot of patience. On Tuesday, Eva stayed 2 hours with her, and insisted on being held the entire two hours. Tuesday night was a hard one for us. Eva refused to sleep away from me. I spent 7:00 p.m. until 12:30 a.m. on the exercise of rocking her to sleep, putting her in the crib, listening to her cry instantly, picking her up and rocking her to sleep again. Yeah, she ended up sleeping in the bed with us. It's been over a month since she's had to do that.

On Wednesday, Eva stayed for two and a half hours, she cried again, and insisted on being held the entire time. But, there was a breakthrough... for the first time, she actually ate something. And during Wed. evening church service, she allowed herself to be watched in the nursery without me. Yea! Wednesday night she slept in the crib and only woke up once.

On Thursday, Eva had another two an a half hour stay, but she actually ate some food and drank some juice. And Thursday night she only woke up once during the night needing me to hold her.

Then today we brought one of Eva's favorite stuffed animals with her to daycare for her 2 hour stay. And she actually ate, drank and even played a little while with Mrs. J's son. However, she has learned what Mrs. J's name is and now when I tell her we're going, she starts crying and looking totally rejected. She has fits if she hears the words "I'll be right back," out of my mouth or "let's go." She also cries as soon as the car pulls into Mrs. J's driveway.

In any case, I am hopeful that there is progress and Eva will adjust. I am very happy with our decision to start Eva slowly with daycare. However, I am reminded of the report by the nannies in the orphanage. They said that Eva would cry whenever they tried to put her down to pick up another baby. Yes, my daughter has learned how to play the system and get the attention for herself. I need to remind myself to tell Mrs. J that.

Legacy of an Adopted Child, author unknown

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make your one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide,
the other prayed for a child--and her hopes were not denied.
And now you ask me through your tears,
the age old question unanswered through the years:
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither my darling. Just two different kinds of love.

Fun and games

Daycare...

I posted this picture because she looks rather spoiled and hoity toity in it. Really, she's not that bad.

I love this particular look of Eva's. She does it often and only when she's happy.
















So, Eva experienced her first day of daycare today... she was only there for an hour. But, I was nervous for her all day. I spent all morning telling her about it, and then when I left, I didn't prolong the goodbye--Just like I was told not to. As I shut the door, I heard her start to cry, I went and sat in my car and shook. But then, I drove away (it was not easy) and came back an hour later. She was fine. Well, she was crying but stopped immediately after I held her and 30 seconds later was completely recovered and acting like nothing ever happened. Mrs. J said that she cried pretty much the whole time she was there, but not constantly. She could get her to quiet down and get distracted, until she remembered where she was a few minutes later and started crying again. I thought that was an encouraging thing... I am confident that Eva will adjust to this daycare business. Probably better than I will. In any case, she had to be held for the whole hour and wouldn't eat anything, which frankly I expected that. So, tomorrow she will be there for 2 and a half hours. We're building into this thing slowly...

Observations of Eva

It's been a while since I've posted a list of observations regarding sweety pie, and at 15 months, I think her behavior is more typical than not. However, it is very cute and worth remembering...

Observation # 1: Eva and the cats have an interesting relationship. The cats have begun to like her and she somewhat likes them. She does not like it when they lay next to her so that they touch her skin. I think if I was as small as her and a cat as big as they are layed next to me I would be concerned also. However, Eva does have a strange quirk relating to Ginger, our long haired kitty. Whenever anyone pets Ginger, she sheds some of her fur. Well, Eva will spend the longest time picking up single hairs and poking them back onto Ginger in a vain attempt to re-attach them. Ginger puts up with it longer than I would expect her to.

Observation # 2: Eva is a climber, and oh how she is getting good at it. We now have to barricade three steps of the stairs. It's not only stairs, though... she also climbs in/on and out/off of any basket, chair, tote, chest or table. Yet, despite all that, she still has not ever climbed out of her crib. Go figure.

Observation # 3: At fifteen months old, Eva has decided if she screams and cries she should get her way. It is very tiring to me and Dave, but I suppose normal. We are trying to resist letting it work so that we don't have to deal with temper tantrums in the stores... we have hope.

Observation # 4: She is definitely a spice girl... oh my word does she like hot food. I know, babies are suppose to get indigestion from hot and spicy food. However, to date Eva does not, and we've given her a lot of it. I think maybe it's because she is from Hunan, and her birth mother ate hot/spicy food while she was in the womb. Also, when we were in China after visiting the orphanage, the workers took us out to lunch. When they held Eva, they fed her some hot and spicy food also...so apparently Eva is used to it. And she loves it!!!

Observation # 5: Eva has some kind of fetish with leaves and trees. I don't understand it, but she will play with a leaf for hours and hours. In any case, it is a cheap toy.

So, yesterday we had our third and final playdate with Mrs. J. before Eva begins daycare on Monday. She seems to remember Mrs J's home and toys but still isn't sure she wants Mrs. J to hold her. On Monday, she is going for one hour to start with. We'll see how it goes from there for Tuesday. It will probably be hardest on me.

Well Eva is demanding more attention and I am going to go and give it to her now. So long...
Kristel

From the files of Eva

Granny has been giving Eva "adventure" rides in the laundry basket. Eva sits in it, and Granny spins her around and around. She absolutely loves it, and now we can't put clothes in that particular basket without Eva pulling them out so she can have another spin.

Working girl

Strange as it is for me, my office now contains a toy box and I am getting used to looking behind me before I back the chair up. Eva has been coming to work with me as I get ready for the fall semester to start. She's a delightful officemate... albeit a little messy.

She's continuing to embrace even more the hugging and kissing. She spent half an hour last night squishing her cheek onto my lips so I would kiss it. This morning I gave her another baby massage, which she liked. Although, she doesn't really like holding still.

I am loving being a mommy.

I have decided, though, that Eva has gotten bigger. I've had to start putting away the 12 month old clothing and break out the 18 month old stuff. In 9 more days it will be two months that we've had her. It's definitely been the most fun two months I've had in my adult life.

Pictures of Eva

There's been a change

I don't know exactly when it happened, or why, but we've noticed a definite change in Eva the last few days. I think it may be that she has finally formed the opinion that we are definitely her parents and has attached, or it may be that at 15 months she has entered a new stage of development. Maybe it's a combination of the two. Whatever it is, David and I have a new little girl on our hands.

As I write this, my nerves are being jangled. Eva has finally learned how to go down the stairs as well as up, so I took the barricade off the bottom of the steps that David keeps tripping over (The gate on the top is still there). In any case, she keeps climbing them. She's perfectly safe as she goes up on her hands and knees, but it still is a little scarry for me. Then, she gets to the top and forgets that she knows how to climb down, so she cries. I climb up the stairs, and get her started. Eva then slides down backwards on her belly until she gets to the bottom (sometimes she stops at the landing midway and goes back up so we have to do it again). Then once she reaches the bottom that she desperately wanted to reach just moments before, she climbs back up. Such a fun game. I think I'll be getting my exercise today.

This is one of the changes we've seen in Eva. Her fear and intimidation in our world is completely gone. She treats the house like it belongs to her now and is relishing in her freedom of movement instead of being distrustful of it. Another change... she is much more challenging of our authority. I have a couple of tables that she is forbidden to touch... one of them is the one holding the computer. The other is the one Daddy puts his things on. Before last week, it wasn't very hard to keep her away from them, now... well, she's testing me. After spending one entire day working with her on the computer table, she will point at it and shake her head no. Last night, while David was watching her, and she pointed at the other forbidden table and said "ma ma" then shook her head no. I don't know if she was telling David that mama doesn't want anyone to touch it and he can't either or if she was telling him that she is not allowed to touch it. Either way, I believe she understands my message.

Last night, she also put her finger to David's chest and said "Ba Ba" which is Chinese for daddy. Dave's been waiting a long time for that. On the other hand, she absolutely refused to let David rock her to sleep. He was able to do everything else, but as soon as he sat in the rocking chair to put her to sleep she had a melt-down. She got so upset that she even threw up her milk. Then, when David gave up on the chair to play with her, she was happy again. Sit in the chair, mad, get out, happy. My mother says that some babies are like that, and decide that only one parent can put them to sleep. I know on Saturday, when David got her out of the crib, she had a meltdown also from which it took me 10 minutes to calm her down. She is apparently of the opinion that only mommy gets her up or puts her down. Lucky mommy (can you hear the sarcasm in the written word). I guess I won't be away from home much for a while.

Eva continues to make progress on her walking. Yesterday, she walked from the couch to the coffee table several times. She has also progressed on the touch issue. When we first got her, she didn't really like being touched. Then, she moved to the ambivalent stage. The other day, I was massaging her back and legs while she drank her bottle before bed. I stopped moving my hand, and she grabbed it and started moving it for me in the same motion I was doing before. Every time I stopped, she did it again. She also will give kisses on request now and will even touch her cheek to my mouth to get me to kiss her at times that I don't initiate it.

I think that Eva is feeling like she belongs to me. I certainly consider her mine and I can't imagine a stronger feeling coming from birth. Yesterday, when I was walking out of WalMart with Eva, a stranger stopped us and asked me, "Whose little one do you have?" Are birth mothers ever asked that question by strangers regarding their children? For all that women knew, my husband could have been Chinese. In any case, I told her she was mine and walked away. Eva is still young enough not to be bothered by it, but I cringe at the thought of questions like that coming when she's older. She already has to deal with a sense of belonging and identity being an adopted child. It doesn't help when strangers in the store question the fact that she belongs to me, in front of her. Are people really that unaware of the impact their words have on little ears.

Eva is on the currently landing, by the front door of our house, and is talking through the glass to the cat who wants to come inside. It's a pretty cute conversation, full of babbling and meowing. They seem to understand each other.

Now she climbed up the upper stair case, and is yelling "Ma Ma" I better go rescue her again...
Until later