There's been a change

I don't know exactly when it happened, or why, but we've noticed a definite change in Eva the last few days. I think it may be that she has finally formed the opinion that we are definitely her parents and has attached, or it may be that at 15 months she has entered a new stage of development. Maybe it's a combination of the two. Whatever it is, David and I have a new little girl on our hands.

As I write this, my nerves are being jangled. Eva has finally learned how to go down the stairs as well as up, so I took the barricade off the bottom of the steps that David keeps tripping over (The gate on the top is still there). In any case, she keeps climbing them. She's perfectly safe as she goes up on her hands and knees, but it still is a little scarry for me. Then, she gets to the top and forgets that she knows how to climb down, so she cries. I climb up the stairs, and get her started. Eva then slides down backwards on her belly until she gets to the bottom (sometimes she stops at the landing midway and goes back up so we have to do it again). Then once she reaches the bottom that she desperately wanted to reach just moments before, she climbs back up. Such a fun game. I think I'll be getting my exercise today.

This is one of the changes we've seen in Eva. Her fear and intimidation in our world is completely gone. She treats the house like it belongs to her now and is relishing in her freedom of movement instead of being distrustful of it. Another change... she is much more challenging of our authority. I have a couple of tables that she is forbidden to touch... one of them is the one holding the computer. The other is the one Daddy puts his things on. Before last week, it wasn't very hard to keep her away from them, now... well, she's testing me. After spending one entire day working with her on the computer table, she will point at it and shake her head no. Last night, while David was watching her, and she pointed at the other forbidden table and said "ma ma" then shook her head no. I don't know if she was telling David that mama doesn't want anyone to touch it and he can't either or if she was telling him that she is not allowed to touch it. Either way, I believe she understands my message.

Last night, she also put her finger to David's chest and said "Ba Ba" which is Chinese for daddy. Dave's been waiting a long time for that. On the other hand, she absolutely refused to let David rock her to sleep. He was able to do everything else, but as soon as he sat in the rocking chair to put her to sleep she had a melt-down. She got so upset that she even threw up her milk. Then, when David gave up on the chair to play with her, she was happy again. Sit in the chair, mad, get out, happy. My mother says that some babies are like that, and decide that only one parent can put them to sleep. I know on Saturday, when David got her out of the crib, she had a meltdown also from which it took me 10 minutes to calm her down. She is apparently of the opinion that only mommy gets her up or puts her down. Lucky mommy (can you hear the sarcasm in the written word). I guess I won't be away from home much for a while.

Eva continues to make progress on her walking. Yesterday, she walked from the couch to the coffee table several times. She has also progressed on the touch issue. When we first got her, she didn't really like being touched. Then, she moved to the ambivalent stage. The other day, I was massaging her back and legs while she drank her bottle before bed. I stopped moving my hand, and she grabbed it and started moving it for me in the same motion I was doing before. Every time I stopped, she did it again. She also will give kisses on request now and will even touch her cheek to my mouth to get me to kiss her at times that I don't initiate it.

I think that Eva is feeling like she belongs to me. I certainly consider her mine and I can't imagine a stronger feeling coming from birth. Yesterday, when I was walking out of WalMart with Eva, a stranger stopped us and asked me, "Whose little one do you have?" Are birth mothers ever asked that question by strangers regarding their children? For all that women knew, my husband could have been Chinese. In any case, I told her she was mine and walked away. Eva is still young enough not to be bothered by it, but I cringe at the thought of questions like that coming when she's older. She already has to deal with a sense of belonging and identity being an adopted child. It doesn't help when strangers in the store question the fact that she belongs to me, in front of her. Are people really that unaware of the impact their words have on little ears.

Eva is on the currently landing, by the front door of our house, and is talking through the glass to the cat who wants to come inside. It's a pretty cute conversation, full of babbling and meowing. They seem to understand each other.

Now she climbed up the upper stair case, and is yelling "Ma Ma" I better go rescue her again...
Until later