When did walking down my hallway become an exercise in traversing a jungle gym? How can someone a fraction of our size make a bigger mess than the rest of us put together? Why are the hours between 10:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. now the best three of the day? How come it seems so pointless anymore to make daily plans? When did I lose my own identity? Why does the quality of my day suddenly depend on someone else and my mood on their mood? How come I feel incomplete now when I go somewhere by myself? What happened to me that I am so willing and happy to sacrifice myself so much for another person?
Yesterday Eva was NOT in a good mood. She must not have felt well, probably another tooth coming in. She only slept for 20 minutes and then woke up and screamed and squirmed. She didn't know what she wanted, other than to feel better. I walked the floor with her for an hour and got her back to sleep, which lasted for another 20 minutes. What an incredibly frustrating feeling when she woke up that second time. Anyway, after that, she decided mommy wasn't going to fool her into sleeping again and she informed me of that fact in her most definitive voice! Finally, after an hour and a half of screeching baby noise in my ear, I squirted baby medicine into her open howling mouth. Half an hour later, she suddenly quit crying... I think I want some of these baby drugs, I can't remember the last time painkillers worked that well. In any case, by that time I was exhausted and wanted to cry myself. So, mom entertained her (Thank God for Grandparents). She taught Eva how to drink out of her sippy cup and they played on the piano. Eva has already figgered out that the keys at different ends make different sounds, and that it's important to use the foot pedal (she was very observant of granny with that). Also, when she bangs on the keys, she sways with the music. Just like she thinks she's the funniest comedian ever, she apparantly also thinks she's an amazing musician. It's important to have a high self image. I have learned also that it is important to be in a good mood when Daddy comes home, to laugh, giggle and cuddle and make sure he doesn't really believe mommy when she complains about how exhausting the day was. Seriously, what is up with that?!
3 comments:
Dave sent me an email saying to check the blog, the cutest picture yet was uploaded.
He was correct, that is the cutest picture yet.
Kathy
In answer to your questions of how, when, and why - since motherhood, plain and simple. We've all been there and survived and promptly forgotten all we went through by the time grandbabies arrive. Hang in there - it's the hardest job you'll ever love to do!
Aunt C
She is absolutely beautiful!! Positively gorgeous!
Isn't it amazing the connection they have with daddy?
An instant innate knowledge of the power that daddy
has. I know what you mean about feeling incomplete
when you go out without her. I feel the same way - and
guilty if I've purposely left her with dad because I
know I'll be so much faster without her. You are also
not alone in your frustration when they have their
inconsolable days. I don't think there is anything you
can do except what you are and just take comfort that
those days pass and they are not all like that. Yes it
is amazing to watch and realize the development of
their unique personalities. September has recently
decided that she does not like to be told "no". I
didn't realize an 8 month old was capable of giving me
the look she does - I can read volumes in her eyes.
Welcome to the most amazing experience you will ever have. Even what you understand intellectually will be blown away by the unexpected emotional. God bless, and congratulations on your beautiful daughter.
Maria
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